Bet you’re surprised that Mr Joyce, MP for Falkirk was apparently so drunk in the Strangers’ Bar the other night he was prepared to take on all-comers. An alleged head-butt here and a supposed chinning there, the affray had all the hallmarks of a sink estate pub brawl amongst the habitually unemployed.
But how could that be? MPs are always telling us all the time, just how supa-busy they are. Their 80 hour-a-week work commitment to us their constituents must surely leave little time to engage in such fripperies as allegedly getting hammered out of your skull on half-price subsidised-by-the-taxpayer alcohol in the Strangers’ Bar at Westminster?
And then it came to me. Of course! Eric Joyce is one of those special, not-doing-too-much-because-other-people-400 miles-away-are-doing-it-all-for-me MPs. Eric has what is known in vernacular as having bugger-all-to-do syndrome – a condition recognised as a by-product of the devolution process.
How so? Since devolution and the reimplementation of the Scottish Parliament, Westminster MPs from Scottish constituencies have been swimming in an ever-decreasing pool of relevance. And Eric Joyce, MP for Falkirk is no exception to that truism. If one of his constituents wants to talk about health, education, local planning, transport, culture etc then he will not be seeking out the times for Mr Joyce’s surgery – he’ll go straight round to someone who will actually be able to do something about it. Angus MacDonald & Michael Matheson are the Members of the Scottish Parliament for Falkirk and it is to them that the average Falkirk constituent will be ringing for help and advice because all of those great domestic portfolios are devolved to Edinburgh.
The only domestic agendas Mr Joyce can vote on are English ones. Hardly democratic then that he as a sitting member can, if he chooses, vote for the Tuition Fee Bill in England knowing that it’s all free, free, free to his constituents in Scotland.
So there you go. It strikes us that Mr Joyce is a man with too much time on his hands. You can only watch so many episodes of Jeremy Kyle, Bargain Hunt and Cash in the Attic before seeking solace in subsidised alcohol at the Strangers’ Bar.
And while in that bar, I’m wondering if that’s the place he fills out his expenses forms – for it has been revealed that the very first MP who has claimed more than £200,000 worth of expenses in a single year is none other than the member for Falkirk.
Mr Joyce may be a rubbish MP – but he plainly excels at creative writing…
We think this video sums up the work pressures Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish MPs are under:
